[Xunsi] Light and Darkness and Blood

Chapter 21C-021 Ordinary Daily Life

Even though there was a quarrel at noon, Shinji didn't think that Suzuki would really trouble someone like him after school.In fact, Suzuki really didn't have any trouble with Shinji.It's just that after the boy left, the anger in those eyes was still burning, and the words that it wouldn't be left alone were clearly expressed through the eyes of the other party.

After tidying up his schoolbag, Shinji ignored everything normal or abnormal in the class as usual.It seems that as long as he closes the classroom door and walks out of the school, he has nothing to do with the school anymore.The time after school belongs to Shinji's alone stage, a lonely and hopeless stage, the performer on the stage is always only himself, while the audience...is full of piles, boundless and endless darkness.The only light source that carries it is always flickering on and off. He wants... wants that flickering faint light, can't wait... wants to catch... looking up, it is clear that it has begun to soften The sunlight was still terribly dazzling, so terribly...it felt like something had already flowed down his cheeks.

I want it... I have never had such an urgency, a longing.

Opening the door of the so-called home, Kaoru has long since disappeared from the small apartment...Like a fool, I don't know what to expect.

Lying on the bed after taking a shower, Shinji stretched out his fingers and counted the days.There are still two days left before my birthday, after today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow... the day after tomorrow is my birthday, and this year, the most special thing is that I have an appointment for Kaoru's birthday... I should be happy, but I was clearly happy until yesterday It's just now... Tears are falling down like beads with a broken thread, even though the brain gives the order to stop, they can't stop no matter what.The boy buried his head in the pillow, letting an unprecedented sense of exhaustion sweep over his body, so painful... Painful but still looking forward to, looking forward to the birthday with Kaoru's company, so... we can meet again, so... there is a reason to stick together The other party's side, because:

"Come out and play, birthday."

"You can do whatever you want on your birthday, Shinji can ask me anything."

"After all, it only happens once a year, doesn't it?"

Because...it's only once a year, so you can be willful, so you can make demands, so you can have a reason to be with Kaoru openly...so, so...too many are just based on everything Kaoru said above.Kaoru said, you can be willful... you can make any request... obviously you can make any request, but with the addition of only once a year, the so-called "anything" seems extremely narrow.

The bent hands suddenly exerted force to press the pillow hard on his face, but he finally raised his head when he was about to be unable to breathe, and looked at the template on the bedside with his red pupils a little absent-mindedly.I hate myself like this, I hate...but I still can't stop wanting to be with each other.If there is no heart, it will be fine. If there is no heart, it will not be like this. It is so painful but still wants it. It is obviously hopeless but can't help but look forward to it.The frowning eyebrows could not be opened for a long time, the gray-blue eyes could not help but be entangled by the mist, the young man's emotions were lost in the huge forest and he couldn't find his way, just like his gloomy and failed life seemed to be laughed at with his dissatisfaction.

Getting up from the bed, even though he is physically and mentally exhausted, Shinji still remembers to do his homework... Although he does not understand what is the use of homework, handing in homework, grading, and exams to him, and he does not understand full marks and zero marks What's the difference, he is like a mechanical robot that repeats these 'tasks' day after day, as long as the final assessment exam is above the passing line... that is the ultimate goal of the task.To be alive... but it seems that a part of the soul has been lost, and that rare part is revived when he is with Kaoru. Only when he is with Kaoru, can Shinji really feel... He is alive, being watched...being, caring...even if it is an illusion, he is cherished.

The slender fingertips lightly pressed on the position of the heart, feeling the heart beating faster and stronger when thinking about Kaoru, but Shinji could only look for the rare but precious heart in this hopeless feeling. The sweetness of the so-called "love" that fills the body and mind is still sad and painful...with a bitter sense of happiness.

Close your homework, organize your schoolbags, and turn off the lights.The boy lying on his side under the quilt couldn't help but curled up and leaned against the corner of the wall...it was so cold.

Backlit, the boy with pale silver short hair approached the bed, and with his cold fingertips he gently pulled the quilt covering his face... Seeing the boy touching the air, he dissatisfiedly grabbed the pulled quilt and pulled it up, Kaoru couldn't restrain the corners of her lips, but after a while, her expression quickly fell, frustration, distress, and all kinds of complicated emotions disappeared in a flash.

Always crying, crying, suffering.The young man's movements became more and more gentle, the fingertips stroking Shinji's cheeks seemed to be touching something fragile, cherishing the weak young man on the bed... He was timid, cowardly, and liked to escape, obviously without any advantages, even It's too ordinary... It's just that I just want to protect him like this, I can't help it... I want to see him, touch, caress, touch him, "Come to me quickly, Shinji." A faint kiss was left on the lips, a kiss without any lust but an unusual intimacy.

No matter what kind of pain it is, I will bear it for you... So, hurry up... Come to me, Shinji.

Another day... Shinji lowered his head as half of his head poked out from under the blanket.I had a strange dream again, and I... was really hopeless.

Dressing, washing, going out, going to class, leaving school.

The schedule of the day is clearly short, but the execution is extremely long... Counting the days, Shinji finds that he seems to have not prepared lunch for himself for a long time... Although the bread in the cafeteria tastes good, if you keep eating it... the sense of taste is about to shrink up.Get started, but the young man's thoughts have already started to drift towards tomorrow... Tomorrow, it's just a day since they haven't seen each other, and they are already looking forward to meeting again.

The day of doing nothing was spent safely, lying on the sofa, Shinji stared at the landline at home and started to stare in a daze...I also lost the phone number, I really want...I really want to see Kaoru.

Once his mind is free, Shinji starts to think wildly, the easiest thing to think of is the girl he met that night... Trying hard to separate her relationship with Kaoru, the self-deceiving Shinji thinks about all kinds of "evidence" that they are strangers It's like the girl who was drinking accidentally spilled the cup at Kaoru's feet; or Kaoru accidentally bumped into her; maybe the other party is brother or sister, or something... trying to deny the relationship between them There may be a special relationship between them that makes Shinji's heart ache, but he finds that any cover-up is too far-fetched, and he is not filming a TV series at all... The gray eyes dimmed, like the passing meteor, no longer blooming with brilliance .

It doesn't matter whether it's deception or self-deception... Pretending, pretending that you haven't seen it before, and habitually avoiding it.

Holding the beige pillow on the sofa and watching TV for a while, it was obviously a boring soap opera, but Shinji watched it at ten o'clock... Maybe it was because the filming of the tear-making series was too successful, or his mood was unstable Shinji in the state is very easily moved. After watching the three-episode series, he actually earned half a dozen paper towels from the boy.

It seemed that his emotions had been vented, so Shinji glanced at the alarm clock and it went dark.

Closing the window, unpacking the schoolbag, taking a shower, the boy wiped his wet hair with a towel and leaned out of the living room to take a look, the drama that was on the air was still playing.After warming up a glass of milk for himself, Shinji, who was completely attracted by the plot, "looted" the thin quilt on the bed and laid it on the sofa, and went to sleep at twelve o'clock...at twelve o'clock.Thinking of this, the young man felt at ease.

The tense plot finally began to become protracted, and he muttered a bit dissatisfied, but Shinji was a little reluctant to leave the sofa... Torn between the two choices of going to bed and staying on the sofa for a while The boy's eyelids have begun to stick together one after another.

In a daze, Shinji felt as if his body was suddenly wrapped in ice.

I shivered unconsciously, and soon something warm covered my body. An unexplained sense of security made the boy naturally search for a comfortable posture and adjust his position. He muttered childishly, the boy's breathing Gradually calm down and settle down.

Really, with the corners of her lips raised, Kaoru hugged the boy in her arms and was reluctant to let go. She really wanted to keep holding him like this and let the boy move around within his sight. If the boy shrinks down and can carry it on his body, he can't wait for the other party to be under his nose every second, and he can see it as long as he raises his head.The eager thought made Kaoru even want to block all his retreats before Shinji walked towards him, and there was still a lack of opportunity...Although it was cruel, Kaoru knew that the boy must be pushed to the extreme...Only when he despairs can he become the... his hope.I want to be your only bond, unique.

It wasn't until dawn that Xun reluctantly let go of the boy who had been hugging her tightly.Carefully placed the person on the sofa, and covered Shinji tightly with the thin blanket.Her lingering eyes stayed on the boy until the sky gradually brightened, but Kaoru was still unwilling to leave.There is his most cherished treasure in this small square inch of land, and he bent down reverently to leave a light kiss on the back of the boy's hand.It has nothing to do with lust_lust and blood, but it is a kiss that is especially cherished, "Happy birthday, Shinji."

For the first time, Kaoru knew that he should take action but couldn't do it. This feeling of being at a loss made Kaoru feel extremely powerless.Sighing, it seems that I am not as patient as I thought.