triumphant sister

Chapter 10

Tiandu accepts the gift of the universe frankly. Many moments in my memory are sacred. Later, I still don’t know anything about it. It seems that "adult" is a terminal illness. And the shame of still having a "child" inside, more sensitive and less healed than when I was younger.

The only way to get out is to respect and cherish every life. At least this is an honest attitude. I feel the fragility of myself as a created thing. The fraternity, the answer is everywhere in life, I think of the ant that I cut in half, I am that ant, I think of its struggle, just like mine.

It is only now that I have the courage to admit that sensitivity is better than insensitivity, and sensitivity is also a fortune. Only the senses that have been over-developed can make you understand and go further than others, and let you be in the so-called "normal". Less time wasted.Sometimes I am so annoyed by the "normality" of life that I have to write to you by myself, writing something outside of life.

Xingnan, I have come to City B, and I still want to be closer to you. When I first arrived here, Er Yuelan in April laid a purple carpet for City B, as if I saw that invisible vampire lying on it, being caught The sun shone brightly, and I sat on the bus with an ordinary face, hoping that the ultraviolet rays would pass through the window glass and give me some freckles, so that I would be free and safe. No one here knows me, No need to worry about the temperament crawling all over the face, from the eyebrows, the corners of the mouth, the tight jaw line, no need to worry that this face will not get along well with the world, no need to hold a breath, no need to straighten your waist and back, let yourself Curled up on the seat with a bad posture, I will still fall in love with many strangers inexplicably, maybe it is a boy who is talking on the phone while walking by the side of the road. The cyclist, with only one pair of eyes exposed by the mask, but such beautiful eyes; maybe the passenger who stood beside me for more than an hour, he didn't play with his mobile phone, and looked at February on the same side as me through the car window Lan, the smell on her body is as sweet as honey. It seems that my future lover knows that I am lonely and hard to let go, and specially advances my deep infatuation for more than an hour.

Marx said that the essence of human beings is the synthesis of relationships. According to this standard, I, who don’t love socializing and sex, should be semi-disabled. In this society, my attributes are no different from animals, and I’m not even as cute as animals. Fortunately, I found a very suitable, somewhat romantic, job as a film projectionist.

The real projection room is not as romantic as in the movie. Rows of machines emit heat continuously, the whole screen is accurate to less than a second, and the pipes are as thick as a dragon rumbling non-stop. On the cramped wall, there are ghostly shadows that reflect light like passing by from time to time.

And these are not the first reasons that led me to become the first female projectionist in the history of the studio. The first reason should be the blindness of the sun for ten and a half months and the loneliness that lasted for twelve o'clock.But this job is unexpectedly suitable for me. My studio has hundreds of square meters. Whether I sit in front of the monitor screen all day long or run like a dog when the TMS fails, there is only my footprint here; There is no need to talk, at most, when the inspectors find that there is a live erotic palace in the last row, they will say "received" and then turn off the lights in a considerate manner; Deal with any one person; dozens of films are screened in turn every day, but the various forms and cuteness of all living beings are all interpreted outside a window the size of a human head through a beam of colorful light.

It's just that this job is just a sunset industry after all. Maybe it will be completely replaced by the remote operation system in less than ten years. After leaving the scene again and again, tasting the loneliness behind the window excessively, Dostoevsky said that people will go crazy sooner or later after being in the "small room" for a long time, but is there a creature that does not need the sun at all? .

After directing the film I needed the next day, it was often late at night, and I walked home alone again and again, and I always deeply understood that darkness is the normal state of the earth, and even the moonlight at this moment is borrowed.

The time to open the eyes is only a few decades, and the darkness after closing the eyes indicates eternity, longer than the cockroaches in the projection room, longer than the sun that explodes at no time.

Back to the so-called home, it is actually another "small room" of more than ten square meters. The toilet that can't be repaired, the sink is leaking, the buoy is slipping, and the seat ring is cracked. "There is endless rain, my hut is small, outside the shadow of dragons and snakes, amidst the sound of wind and rain, I always have to prepare a few more buckets, and then I can put them on the couch, and listen to the rain leaking north and south, and rain leaking west and east; even The wardrobe and bookcases are all made of disposable Oxford cloth, but this is the best hiding place I found for myself in City B.

I have considered whether to raise a cool cat who looks at each other and hates each other, but for a creature like me that does not need the sun, the cat may grow moss after following me, so I have to give up.

Apart from going back and forth between the two small rooms, the only pastime is watching free movies in the theater. After working as a projectionist, people watch too much with their heads, and occasionally miss people's eyes. The most interesting thing is people's eyes, which are particularly bright, because the same joke also makes people look silly when they laugh, like children.

Many of the novels we read together in middle school have also been adapted into movies. Every time we are full of expectations, but most of the time the results are unsatisfactory. Under a certain background and general trend of the times, many people can only choose to be afraid. It takes a long time to be afraid, and I try to avoid standing on the side of another doctrine because I am against one doctrine, but I can still understand those who leave the scene saying "what the hell!", they have been surprised, Satisfied, they spend money trying to relive their complexes, sitting in chairs waiting to be re-touched, only to see fear and insincerity.

In order to adapt to this huge money-making big screen, even his own people are ruthless. Therefore, the advantages of the novel are 'perfectly' revealed in the process of the story being concretized.In fact, even if it is intact, the most perfect image will always only exist in everyone's mind.This also explains the mixed reviews of "The Great Gatsby" released yesterday. It is just another "shattering of illusions". Daisy, the "vision of illusions", is also very refreshing. The people of Sisi are like rainbows, but the people of Qisi are just like rainbows on the surface, very beautiful, but inside is just a breath, called 'fart'; many obsessive white moonlight, like the moon, take away the light, leaving only desolation, desolation, and pitted face.After all, true love is like God, everyone wants it, and no one knows if it exists.The more you believe in true love, the more at a loss what to do, the fish bites the bait and can only be dragged away, the more you believe it is you, the more lonely you are, the less you know how to approach you.I also began to reflect on my original intention of coming to City B. I heard that you have planned to study abroad. In the future, in this city, I am afraid that I will not even be able to find a ray of green light.If you compare your life to a movie, at most I appear in the uncut version that no one cares about.

Do you still want to follow you?After watching the movie yesterday, I was thinking about this problem while walking on the way home. I met a girl who seemed to be broken in love. She didn’t go home in the middle of the night. She sat under the walnut tree outside the embassy and cried loudly. The soldiers who stood guard outside were startled.

The heart is so powerful because it loves.

People with a strong heart may need some time, but those with a weak heart need too much. That's why they are depressed when they look at the radiant girl under the sun at [-] o'clock in the morning.

I don't want to be like some customers who watch night shows alone, in their 50s, 150 pounds, squeezed in the seat, panting and watching teen romance movies, and find that the things they wanted in their youth were scattered because of random abandonment Go, there is no interest in the scattered ones, and after watching it, return to the parking lot at 02:30, recalling the happy ending of the movie, frustrated.

I don't want this frustration.

Being a projectionist has relived the pleasure of being an announcer to a certain extent. During countless drowsy afternoons, the school radio station began to play Richard’s "Starry Sky", and I recited Zhu Ziqing's " Hurry", but at that time, we didn't understand what is haste.Those fragrant and bright flowers planted in the flower beds bloomed spring after spring. I read San Mao, and you read Yu Hua, imagining what kind of flower or strange flower you will eventually grow into.

Come a few thousand more days, maybe you will understand, maybe you won’t have the strength.

2013.9.1

Jiang Yuan, who came back from the urine escape, took the broadcast script that Liu Xingnan handed him.

"The 'Pieces of Ripples' link has been sorted out for you, just read it directly." Liu Xingnan said.

Jiang Yuan turned down the music, started to broadcast, and made a thank you gesture to Liu Xingnan with a grateful face.

"Today's 'Pian Pian Ripples' invites students to taste excerpts from Lao She's "Camel Xiangzi" together."

"The sky is very dark. From time to time, one or two stars pierce the Milky Way, or slide into the darkness, with red or white light tails, light or stiff, falling straight or sweeping, sometimes moving and trembling Then, give the sky some turbulence of light and heat, and give the darkness some flickering bursts. Sometimes one or two stars, sometimes several stars, fly down at the same time, making the quiet autumn sky tremble slightly, and confusing all the stars for a while."