Banshee Family Training Record

Page 46

Hua Caiyan nodded, then quickly shook her head: "Ah, not really. I planned to come this morning, but I just didn't have time. Luckily, I'm free today, um..."

She suddenly felt that the more she explained, the worse it got, so she quickly said, "Anyway, the blockade is still quite tight. This time it's different from the past. It's a snake demon family from the Zhao Kingdom on the other side of the mountain, you know?"

"Did Fourth Sister tell you? This mountain closure was spearheaded by them, in conjunction with more than a dozen demon cultivation families in the mountains. No one is allowed to leave the mountain, as if they are hunting down something."

Yun Chu'an's heart jumped into his throat. In that instant, he had already guessed that the person that the demon cultivator family was chasing was now hiding in the guest room of his house, just one wall away!

He gave an awkward laugh, nodded, and said, "My fourth sister told me everything, and told me to try to stay home as much as possible these days, and to think about other things after the curfew is lifted."

He dealt with it this way, racking his brains to figure out how to send her away without hurting Hua Caiyan's feelings, so that she wouldn't say anything she shouldn't without knowing the truth, which the Buddhist disciples on the other side of the wall might overhear.

Hua Caiyan was completely unaware of this. She nodded gently and said, "That's for the best. Don't worry, with Second Sister here, no matter how much trouble those snake demon families cause, they won't be able to find us."

Yun Chu'an broke out in a cold sweat. No matter how you looked at it, it sounded like their family was colluding with the snake demon family and had stood on the opposite side of Buddhism and Qingyun Sect!

For a moment, he didn't even bother to consider how to politely ask her to leave, and quickly came up with a reason to make amends: "Fifth Sister, actually, I've always had a worry. Just how strong is that snake demon family? I heard that the Buddhist sect and the Qingyun Sect are preparing to deal with them. Can they handle it?"

"What if they fall in the end, and the Buddhist sect and Qingyun sect retaliate against us?"

Hua Caiyan rolled her eyes and said, "Your worries are unnecessary. Second Sister went to negotiate with them, not to help them arrest people. Even if they lose, what does it have to do with us?"

"In these mountains, it's common for the ruling class to change hands frequently. Yesterday, the Weihe Dragon Clan called on righteous cultivators to enter the mountains and exterminate the demon cultivators. Today, the demon cultivators have united to blockade the mountains. Perhaps tomorrow, the tide will turn again. We should prepare accordingly."

As she spoke, she suddenly laughed, looking at him with a meaningful expression: "Besides, if the snake demons fall, wouldn't you be the happiest person when the great Buddhist masters come to these mountains?"

Yun Chu was stunned: "Huh? Me?"

“Yes,” she said. “Didn’t you get involved with those monks? If that day ever comes, the family will have to rely on you to negotiate with those bald monks, just like we rely on Second Sister now, so that our family won’t be targeted.”

She naturally used a derogatory term for Buddhist disciples, after all, this was Yun Chuan's home, and there were only the two of them, "one of our own," in this room. If the two of them talked badly about a third person together, it would be easy to get closer to Guan Jin and become close friends.

And coincidentally, Hua Caiyan, who loves to play, has no shortage of Buddhist jokes.

Unbeknownst to her, Yun Chu'an nearly suffered a heart attack the moment she uttered the words "bald monk": "Uh, Fifth Sister, no, it's not good to talk badly about people behind their backs, is it? I think those high monks are quite upright, they probably won't show favoritism, and besides, I'm just a lowly fourth-level Qi Refining cultivator, I can't really say I have any face..."

Hua Caiyan curled her lips: "Are you stupid? You actually believe these lies meant to deceive outsiders? They don't even follow their own precepts."

“Alright, you’ve only just entered the world of cultivation, so you may not know that those so-called high monks in Buddhism sit on lotus thrones and receive worship from people, while their relatives, subordinates, and mounts do evil deeds behind the scenes. Once the matter is exposed, they will step in to bail people out without paying any price.”

"The most famous one is that there was once a Buddha whose maternal uncle ruled a dynasty. He fed on people, leaving the country in a state of carnage. In the end, he was overthrown, and the Buddha stepped in to get his uncle out of prison. He was locked up for a few years and that was it. He didn't pay any price. Hey, who can you complain to about this?"

Chapter 102 Hana Ayame's Joke

Hua Caiyan was quite relaxed, and her sarcastic remarks made Yun Chu'an break out in a cold sweat and turn pale: "This... Buddhism is, after all, loosely organized; perhaps this is just an isolated case..."

Upon hearing this, the fox spirit chuckled and continued, "No way! The things done above are dirty, and the things done below aren't clean either. They say they don't amass wealth and that they live and cultivate themselves solely through 'begging for alms,' but for others, each time they beg for alms is like skinning them alive and drawing their blood."

Legend has it that a monk went out and encountered a fierce tiger. He was frightened, but to his surprise, the tiger turned tail and ran away. When he returned to his cave, the tigress asked, "Why were you so scared?" The tiger replied, "A monk just came begging for alms from me, how could I not run away!"

She told a joke, but instead of making Yun Chu'an laugh, she laughed so hard she almost fell over. Yun Chu'an was drenched in sweat and couldn't even sit still. He quickly tried to stop her: "This is just a stereotype created by exaggerating isolated cases. You see, Master Huijing and the others have come to our house before, but they didn't ask us for alms, did they?"

Hua Caiyan stopped laughing, but was quite excited. She continued, "Begging for alms is only one aspect. I have many other things to do. Buddhism teaches abstinence from women, but that doesn't stop them from being close to men. There are countless filthy things between old monks and young monks."

"An old monk was relieving himself in the backyard when a bamboo shoot poked his buttocks, and he immediately began to wail in pain. A young novice saw this, put his palms together, and said, 'Amitabha, this is retribution,' hahahaha—!"

She told a slightly outrageous, risqué joke, and before she could finish, she burst into laughter, her little feet kicking wildly—it was absolutely adorable.

Across from her, Yun Chu'an wished he could kneel down on the spot, grab her hand, and beg her.

No! If we keep telling monk jokes, we're doomed!

I'll do anything to get you to stop telling these monk jokes!

He was writhing in anguish, while in the guest room, the two young Buddhist disciples were covered in blood from head to toe, looking like roasted sweet potatoes.

"She insulted our sect! Fight her to the death!" One of the monks, barely able to contain his anger, whispered. The other immediately nodded in agreement. They would fight to the death to protect the reputation of their sect.

Beside them, the four disciples of the Qingyun Sect showed no anger whatsoever. Yan Shuiyi and Dongfang Yue blushed with embarrassment at the crude joke they had just heard, while the two male disciples, Feng Jian and Lao Wen, were so enraged by their suppressed laughter that their faces contorted with rage, their teeth bared, looking like demons.

They had heard similar Buddhist jokes countless times before, and would secretly tell them in private, and the jokes were even more outrageous, such as saying that a monk's excrement is the most solid, and that soaking one pound of it in water makes it equivalent to two pounds of it...

Hearing the girl outside say that, they weren't angry at all; instead, they felt like they had found a kindred spirit.

But, ah, if I were to laugh out loud in front of Buddhist disciples, wouldn't my alliance with them be over?

I've got it! I'll feign great anger to cover it up.

With this thought in mind, the older male cultivator from the Qingyun Sect, Feng Jian, said in a low voice, "This woman is truly unreasonable. We must teach her a lesson one day! However, masters, we must remain calm today. It is not advisable to expose ourselves now. Let's avoid trouble!"

Dongfang Yue, suppressing her embarrassment, also whispered, "That woman is nothing but a short-sighted country bumpkin. Why should you two masters lower yourselves to her level? Be more magnanimous. I never listen to such nonsense!"

After offering this advice, they turned their gaze to Huijing, the leader of the younger generation of Buddhist monks. Even Huijing, known for his composure, was now ashen-faced. However, he managed to remain calm, taking a deep breath and whispering, "My two junior brothers, there are indeed many scoundrels in Buddhism who have corrupted the sect's reputation. What we should do is rectify the atmosphere; then the rumors will naturally dissipate. Taking action against her would only make us appear weak and desperate!"

His persuasion, aided by his prestige, finally calmed the two down.

Then, they heard Yun Chu'an's voice ring out again from outside: "Fifth Sister, we can't rely on these jokes and rumors to handle our relationships with the various sects, can we? Besides, everyone has a different personality, and the specific people we deal with will have different things to say and do."

"In my opinion, at the very least, the three eminent monks we encountered were all upright and honest people, definitely not the two-faced scoundrels you described!"

Outside, Yun Chuan and Hua Caiyan sat on either side of the table, speaking righteously and solemnly, their backs already soaked with sweat: "Eldest sister and fourth sister can testify to this, and even if you ask sixth sister, she will definitely say the same thing."

Across from him at the table, Hua Caiyan pouted, feeling rather disappointed: "Boring. I'm just bored anyway, so I came to talk to you and tell you some jokes, but you're so dull."

"So honest, I really don't know what Qi Qiao and Meng Shen see in you. They're always vying to be with you."

Yun Chu'an no longer cared about her talking about her private affairs. It was better for him to lose face than to speak ill of the Buddhist community: "Maybe this is talent. I am where I am today entirely because of my own efforts, without relying on any outsiders."

Fortunately, the system lacked intelligence; otherwise, it would surely have given him a disdainful look right now.

Having said all that, fearing she might say something even more shocking, he quickly dismissed her, saying, "Actually, I'm quite busy here, mainly focused on breaking through to a higher level. I've had some inspiration lately. If Fifth Sister doesn't have anything else to say..."

Hua Caiyan narrowed her eyes: "You want me to leave?"

Yun Chu'an immediately realized that she had been too flustered and that her words had been too deliberate: "No, no, I didn't mean that..."

Hua Caiyan pouted: "How long have you been at the fourth level of Qi Refining? And how old are you? You have plenty of time. Why are you in such a hurry to break through?"

"With this torrential rain today and the snake demon blocking the mountain, I have nowhere to go. You just need to keep me company, tell me jokes to cheer me up, what's wrong with that? Besides, if I teach you more jokes, you can tell them to your mortal concubines in the future. Isn't that helping you?"

She muttered this, which made Yun Chu'an's scalp tingle. He really hadn't taken any concubines, and his feelings for Qi Qiao and Liu Mengshen were genuine!

But since this hasty order to leave had displeased the vixen, he had no choice but to bite the bullet and try to smooth things over: "I didn't, I didn't. It's just that Master Huijing and the others saved my life, and I feel really guilty for speaking ill of their sect behind their backs..."

Chapter 103 Do you like her?

Hua Caiyan said lazily, "You little punk, you're afraid of just talking about those sanctimonious bald monks behind their backs. You're too cowardly."

"Alright, alright, then I'll spare you the trouble. We won't talk about Buddhism anymore. I'll tell you some jokes about the Qingyun Sect."

Inside the guest room, the two men and women from the Qingyun Sect both changed color in shock, while the three Buddhist monks couldn't help but glance at the four of them out of the corner of their eyes.

This time, it was the three of them who had to suppress their laughter.

Outside, Yun Chu'an was so frightened that she knelt down: "No, Fifth Sister, your joke is really bad. Let's talk about something useful instead, please."

Hua Caiyan looked at him with some annoyance: "No, why are you like this? Weren't my jokes funny?"

Yun Chu'an shook his head frantically inside, but nodded frantically on his face: "It's not funny. Let's talk about something useful, information or intelligence, something that can be used recently, like this."

He made excuses like that, while his mind raced, trying to find a new topic to steer the conversation away from those two sects and into something else.

Unfortunately, no sooner had he finished speaking than Hua Caiyan made a move with zero frames: "Alright, then let's talk about Yan Shui Yi."

Yun Chu'an stiffened, then saw the vixen grin mischievously: "The prodigy who suddenly appeared in the Qingyun Sect, the goddess of the younger generation of righteous cultivators, the dream lover of those noble families and their descendants, I bet you're interested in this one, right?"

"You lecher, I'll keep you company while we talk about this, you won't kick me out, will you?"

She had formed a stereotype about Yun Chu'an, assuming that at his age, as a male cultivator practicing the Pure Yang Technique, his own sexual prowess must be at its peak, to the point that even his two wives with higher cultivation levels couldn't satisfy him, and he would secretly seek out mortal girls in private.

Therefore, she concluded that he must also be interested in the legendary female swordswoman Yan Shuiyi.

Hua Caiyan doesn't usually like to talk about these things, but since the Buddhist joke just now made him feel bad, he might as well talk about these things now as compensation.

Unbeknownst to her, this topic caused Yun Chu'an's blood pressure to spike even higher.

He didn't know what kind of personality Yan Shuiyi had, but he did know that the people from the Qingyun Sect were right next door, listening from just a wall away!

Discussing someone's senior sister in front of them is fine if you say nice things, but what if you say something bad and anger them so much that they rush out and kill both of them with a sword?

Given Hua Caiyan's personality and her attitude towards righteous sects, could she possibly say anything nice?

Yun Chu'an felt her hands and feet turn ice-cold and quickly tried to stop her: "No, Fifth Sister, I'm not interested in her..."

Hua Caiyan rolled her eyes: "What, now you want to pretend to be a gentleman?"

One sentence immediately shut down all his explanations. He had already taken the liberty of wearing the hat of a playboy in order to conceal the "scent of a woman," and now he simply couldn't take it off.

He looked at Hua Caiyan with a bitter face, on the verge of tears, and said, "Alright, Fifth Sister, please tell me, please tell me."

Hua Caiyan seemed completely unaffected and began to speak softly: "Yan Shui was born into a scholarly family in the State of Jin. However, her good fortune did not last long. When she was still very young, Jin was in turmoil, and most of its territory was separated, leaving only this small part."

"Those that split off became the three countries of Han, Zhao, and Wei, making a total of four countries. They fought each other for land. Unfortunately, her family was destroyed in this turmoil. She was lucky enough to be found by Nangong Wan, who was not yet the sect leader of Qingyun Sect but only the sect leader's wife at the time, and was taken back to Qingyun Sect to be raised and cared for."

"She was only acting out of kindness, but unexpectedly Yan Shuiyi displayed amazing talent. Despite being the last to join the sect, her cultivation level soared to the sky. Those senior brothers and sisters who were 10 or 20 years older than her could not defeat her and fell to her sword, allowing her to win first place in the sect competition."

"After reaching the Foundation Establishment stage, she displayed unparalleled prowess among her peers: at the mid-Foundation Establishment stage, she was able to kill late-stage demonic cultivators; a few days ago in Weihu Market, she even fought two late-stage Foundation Establishment snake demons, killing one and injuring the other, while remaining unscathed herself. Some speculate that even a Golden Core expert would likely not fare well against her now."

As she spoke, still not finished, she suddenly asked, "That day also seems to be the time when Fourth Sister took you to the market to sell talismans. Did you see that battle? I heard that the two sides fought fiercely, a spectacle rarely seen here in decades."

Yun Chu'an breathed a sigh of relief. Hearing her praise, he felt a little more at ease: "I knew there was a fight, but it was too far away to see what it was or know it was her. I only found out later that it was the legendary Yan Shui Yi."

Hua Caiyan laughed and said, "Isn't it beautiful? Legend has it that she wielded her sword and it became a river, the blade as ethereal as moonlight in her hand, exuding a chilling killing intent yet breathtakingly beautiful. The scene of that battle was simply a work of art, and everyone present, regardless of age or gender, was captivated. What do you think?"

Yun Chu'an followed up with praise: "Of course, I thought the commotion caused by those two snake demons was earth-shattering. But when she came out, I realized what it meant to be a celestial being descending from the heavens. Thinking about it now, it still feels like a dream. I can't believe that it was actually something that happened in the mortal world."

He was in high spirits and echoed Hua Caiyan's exaggerated praise. Although his Buddhist jokes had basically offended Hui Jing and the other two, he had at least managed to regain some goodwill with the Qingyun Sect.

He spoke with all his might, and the three Buddhist monks in the room, who had been waiting to see him make a fool of himself, suddenly felt disappointed and even a little indignant. Why did they have to tell such trashy jokes when Buddhism was mentioned, but when Qingyun Sect and Yan Shuiyi were mentioned, all they could say was praise?

The three of them turned their heads and glanced at the four people from Qingyun Sect. They found that Feng Jian and Lao Wen looked proud, as they were also proud of their senior sister's situation. Dongfang Yue, on the other hand, was overjoyed and excited. She was even happier to hear outsiders praising her idol than to hear them praising her.

Only Yan Shui seemed very uncomfortable in this situation, her pretty face flushed red. Realizing that everyone was looking at her, she couldn't help but lower her head and cover her face with her hands.

She usually devotes herself to ascetic practices and rarely shows her face or interacts with outsiders. This time, her main communication partners were also Buddhist monks who are taciturn.

She rarely faced such undisguised and radiant praise, especially in front of her fellow disciples. For a moment, she was overwhelmed with shyness and didn't know how to respond.

Outside, Hua Caiyan was chatting and laughing with Yun Chu'an when she suddenly changed the subject and asked, "So, do you like her?"

The author says:

Author's note: This is an extra chapter to acknowledge the 250 monthly votes received. Please vote with more monthly votes!

Chapter 104 Yan Shui Yi's Scandal

Yun Chu'an froze, another bead of cold sweat trickling down his forehead. He quickly turned his face away, gave an awkward laugh, and said, "Fifth Sister is joking. She is a celestial being from heaven, and I am but a common mortal. I only have admiration for her; how could I possibly like or dislike her..."

Hua Caiyan pouted: "If you were given a chance, would you want to marry her?"

She completely considered him one of her own, so these private conversations had to be as scandalous as possible in order to bridge the distance between them that she had once deliberately pushed apart.

That was her purpose, but this crucial question only made Yun Chu'an break out in a cold sweat: "Fifth Sister, please don't joke around. There are so many princes and nobles from various countries, and so many outstanding talents from aristocratic families. Their partners must be such exceptional young men. How could it be my turn..."

The vixen rolled her eyes at him: "How can you be so cowardly? We're just chatting, and you don't even dare to fantasize? I was just chatting and asked casually. I won't blame you for anything. What's the point of all this rambling and pointless nonsense?"

Yun Chu'an glanced at the guest room door and thought to himself, if you knew who was hiding behind that door, you wouldn't dare say so much.

But Hua Caiyan's questioning continued. He gritted his teeth and decided not to offend the Qingyun Sect: "I feel that I already have a family. To fantasize about such things is a bit too shameless..."

Hua Caiyan rolled her eyes again: "Tch, boring, you say one thing and do another."

As she spoke, she seemed somewhat disheartened: "Don't worry, even if you are truly a prodigy, you have no chance. Ever since she became famous at a young age, countless noble families have gone to the Qingyun Sect to propose marriage, hoping that their heirs could be married to her, but without exception, they have all been rejected."

Yun Chu'an followed up with her question, "Huh? Why is that?"

"Who knows?" Hua Caiyan said. "Maybe they just don't want to get married. Oh dear, this situation is actually quite common, especially among those chosen ones. Regardless of gender, they feel that a Daoist partner is just a burden and they are unwilling to settle for someone else. They end up alone until their death. It's quite common."

"Of course, these people are all peerless geniuses. No one can go against their will, and no rules or regulations can shackle them. They can do whatever they want. The only thing they need to obey is their own conscience."

She sighed as she spoke, "We mere mortals certainly can't do that."

Yun Chu'an chimed in, "This is the privilege of the strong. Given time, if we can also cultivate to become Tribulation Transcending experts, then no rules will be able to bind us."

Hua Caiyan rolled her eyes at him: "Then you can force Yan Shuiyi to marry you, right?"

Yun Chu'an was immediately embarrassed: "Fifth Sister, how could you think of me like that? I..."

He wanted to argue, but the thought of being labeled a playboy immediately dampened his confidence. Hua Caiyan chuckled, feeling she had him under her thumb, and her interest was piqued again. Suddenly, she added, "However, regarding why Yan Shuiyi refuses any marriage proposals, there's actually another explanation circulating in the cultivation world, hehe..."

Yun Chu'an had a bad feeling. He wanted to stop her, but the vixen was so excited that she insisted on saying it. It was too late to stop her now: "Why didn't Nangong Wan think of finding a new Daoist partner after the death of the old sect leader of the East?"

"Why is it that Yan Shuiyi, like her master and foster mother, has absolutely no interest in any male cultivators?"