A century of poverty

Chapter 40 Heartbreak

In May of 1962, it was drizzling outside, and we couldn't go to work. Mom sat on the kang (a heated brick bed) sewing shoe soles, my fourth sister sat behind her, my second brother fiddled with a broken slingshot in one corner of the kang, and my third sister opened a bundle of scraps of cloth on the kang, smoothing out the slightly colored pieces to sew a toy bag. Grandma sat at the end of the kang, leaning against a stack of quilts, and Dad lay in his usual spot under the beam. A moment of tranquility filled the room.

A clear voice came from the west wall: "Does Zhang Xiwang live here?"

Hearing this, Mom said, "My eldest daughter is back." She got off the kang (a heated brick bed) and went to the street. Seven-year-old Third Sister also got off the kang, slipped on her shoes, and ran to the street.

We welcomed Grandpa and my eldest sister in. My eldest sister had grown much taller, her two long braids now folded back to the base, tied with two red ribbons, and her new clothes looked exceptionally elegant. After being away for two years, she had returned as a graceful young woman.

After bringing my older sister back, Grandpa went home.

Grandma pulled her eldest granddaughter to her side and looked her up and down. Her beloved eldest granddaughter had returned, and she was overjoyed.

She asked her older sister if she had been mistreated during her visit to her maternal grandparents' home, and her older sister recounted her experience in Heilongjiang in detail.

When I first arrived, I stayed at my uncle's house. My grandfather was often away from home, so my uncle treated me like a servant. One time, there was no water when I was cooking, so I went to the well to fetch water by myself. A Russian woman said to me in broken Chinese, "Jiang Guangliang doesn't work; he misses his wife." My older sister didn't say anything, but from then on, she became more suspicious. No wonder my uncle didn't seem to have any illness; he always said he wasn't feeling well and didn't go to work at the forest farm.

When Grandpa returned from his trip, he noticed that the money he had placed under the mattress was missing. He asked, "Zhao Di, did you take my money again?"

Zhao Di: "I didn't take it, I didn't take it."

Grandpa: "I know my money. Besides you, who else in our family is there?"

Zhao Di: "My cousin took it."

Grandpa: "Your cousin shouldn't have taken it. You're the one who took it. I know."

Zhao Di: "Believe it or not, I didn't take it. It was my cousin who took it."

The eldest sister listened intently from the side. Grandpa knew he hadn't taken it himself; why bother arguing with that sharp-tongued Zhao Di?

When Zhao Di got up in the morning, he paced around inside and outside the house, washing and dressing himself. His uncle said, "Zhao Di, why haven't you cooked yet?"

Zhao Di: "Why do I have to cook?"

Uncle: "You're the oldest."

Zhao Di: "My cousin is older than me, and I still have to go to school. She doesn't do anything, so I let her do everything." Turning to his younger siblings, he said, "You two should also get yourselves ready. Don't go out like you're unsupervised and make a fool of yourselves."

This worked; her uncle stopped nagging her.

After putting down their chopsticks, Zhao Di took her younger sister and brother to school. Before leaving, she looked around the house. If anything didn't suit her when they returned, she would tell her father. If the three sisters broke anything and someone asked, they would blame it on the eldest sister. This eldest daughter was her uncle's darling; whatever she said went.

Several months passed, and the eldest sister felt wronged. She secretly wrote a letter home, wanting to tell her family about her grievances. However, because she hadn't received much education, there were many words she couldn't write, so she had to finish writing a letter several times. Afraid that her "monitory" younger brother would find out, she hid the unfinished letter in a crack under the tooth-shaped cup in her room. After hiding it, she went to her uncle's house, partly to visit him and partly to ask the locals for help with writing.

What she feared most came to pass. No sooner had she left than Zhao Di stormed into her room, ransacked it, and found her older sister's letter, which he read to her father. The uncle was furious: "I brought you here out of kindness, seeing you starving at home, and instead of being grateful, you complain about me! You brat, just you wait!" The uncle waited angrily at home.

It was almost time to make dinner when my eldest sister returned from my uncle's house. As soon as she entered the house, my uncle slapped her hard across the head, and she collapsed to the ground, her vision going black.

After an unknown amount of time, the eldest sister heard her grandfather shout, "How could you hit a child so hard?"

Uncle: "She has no conscience. If I hadn't brought her here, she would still be starving at home! And even after she's full, she still writes letters complaining about me."

Grandpa: "I know what you're thinking. How much older is she than Zhaodi? If she were your daughter, would you hit her?"

Uncle: "I'm her uncle, I brought her here, can't I do something about her?"

Grandpa: "Is this how you discipline her? You're beating her to death! And you still have the nerve to call yourself her uncle?"

At this moment, the eldest sister woke up, understood what had happened, and knew she couldn't stay there for even a minute longer. She got up and ran to her uncle's house.

Hearing this, Grandma angrily shouted, "Jiang Guangliang, he's not human, he's a beast! What does he take our child for? Is he some Meixiang girl he sold to your family? We'd rather starve to death at home than have your food. We've never laid a finger on him, and you still beat him! My dear girl, don't cry. We won't have a brother like that anymore, we won't have any relatives like him..."

Her mother, standing nearby, was also concerned about her eldest sister's experience in Heilongjiang. Because her grandmother was ahead of her, she had to be careful around her. Hearing this, her feelings were indescribable. First, she hated her heartless second brother for taking the child away and not treating her well. She regretted not letting her daughter go, but it was too late. Second, she felt utterly ashamed; her own brother had done such a thing, bringing shame upon herself and her daughter, damaging her dignity not only in front of adults but also in front of her. Third, her grandmother's scolding struck her heart with every word. She was already forbidden from smoking in this house, and this incident made it even worse. She was always careful and cautious, yet she was still beaten and scolded, and now her worthless second brother had smeared her reputation.

Since entering the Zhang family at the age of fifteen, she has strictly adhered to the virtues of a wife, always putting others first and eating last, never daring to have any self-interest. Her mother-in-law scolded her for not giving her any face, which made her feel stifled and angry, with no one to confide in.

The eldest sister rushed to her uncle's house. Her aunt, seeing her niece's face—one side red and swollen, the other bruised—took her to her chest and stroked it tenderly, asking, "What happened to the child?" The eldest sister couldn't help but cry again, sobbing as she recounted what had happened. Her aunt sighed, "Don't cry, child. We won't go to his place. I'll take care of it for you. From now on, you'll stay with me."

The eldest aunt left her eldest sister behind to comfort her.

But her home was too crowded, so in the evening she said to her eldest sister, "Niece, our home is cramped. I'm thinking you stay here during the day and go stay with your eldest cousin at night. It's just her and her child there. Your cousin's husband is Song Dacheng's son, he's a very nice person. They're away most of the year, so if you stay there, you can keep your eldest sister company. Do you think that's okay? If not, just say so."

Eldest sister: "Yes, I'm willing to go."

Aunt: "If you don't want to, you can stay at my house. I'll let your second cousin go, but I don't trust her. I don't dare let her go out. I can keep an eye on her at home, but if I let her out, I'd have no idea what she'd do. She's too disobedient. There's a young man in her village named Mou who's pursuing her. I've heard that he's a smooth-talking, scheming guy. Your uncle, cousin, and I all disagree with her. We've tried to persuade your second cousin, but she won't listen. She's never home. She's been bewitched by that guy."

I've thought it through. You stay home for a few days, then I'll have your uncle talk to the forestry station and see if you can get a job there with your second cousin. You can keep an eye on her for me, and you two can keep each other company. You're capable of doing the work there, so you won't be bored staying at home."

My second cousin is tall and slender, with a fair, round face, double eyelids, big eyes, and a pair of smiling eyes full of pure gentleness. Her full, rosy lips also convey kindness.

After dinner, before sunset, my aunt said to my second cousin, "Yaofang, take my younger cousin to my older sister's house and come back there."

"Yes," the second cousin replied. "Come on, cousin," she called to the eldest sister as they went out.

When Yaofang arrived at her older cousin's house, she said, "Sister, Mom sent my younger cousin to keep you company. You stay here, I'm leaving."

The eldest sister said, "My aunt wants you to come home."

Second cousin: "Okay!"

The older cousin was playing with her daughter, Zhengyu, when she saw her older sister coming over and called out, "Zhengyu, quickly call her auntie! Cousin, you watch over her, I'll prepare your bedding."

Zhengyu, a little girl not yet a year old, is very bright and beautiful, and my older cousin likes her very much when we meet. My cousin's place is really a good place to stay; it's clean and quiet. As soon as it gets dark, the child gets sleepy and goes to sleep, and she can talk to my cousin and then fall asleep.

During the day, she would visit her aunt's house, where it was lively and bustling. Her aunt wouldn't let her do any work, and her two younger cousins ​​would take her out for walks and play after school. They bought two feet of red silk for each of them at the cooperative, and also bought her a new toothbrush and a toothbrush cup.

A few days later, my eldest sister recovered from her injury, and my second cousin took her to work at the forest farm. Just as my aunt had said, the work wasn't tiring at all. Lunch was at the farm's canteen, with steamed buns and stewed vegetables as the staple food—you could eat as much as you wanted. Breakfast and dinner were at my uncle's house, where they also had noodles and dumpling soup; wheat was the staple food there.

The border town where they lived consisted of two parts: a forest farm and a farm. The wheat was all produced on the farm. Most of the town's working-age population worked on both farms.

A few months later, the eldest sister adapted to this lifestyle. She would get up early, go to her eldest cousin's house, then eat breakfast at her second cousin's house before going to work. She would eat lunch in the cafeteria, and after work, she would go back to her eldest cousin's house with her second cousin. After dinner, she would attend night school with her second cousin. Deeply aware of her lack of education, she studied very diligently at night school. After class, she would go to her eldest cousin's house to read, write, and ponder.

The days that followed were very fulfilling. My aunt valued this niece highly and would consult her on some matters.

One day, when the topic of my second cousin's marriage came up, my aunt said, "Your second cousin is so disobedient. She insists on marrying that man surnamed Mou. You've seen it for yourself. Is that man Mou any good? We can't control her anymore. Let her get married. What do you think?"

Eldest sister: "I don't think he's good enough for second sister, but as long as second cousin is willing, marriage is a matter of personal freedom, so don't make things too difficult for her. Explain the reasons to her, whether she listens or not is up to her, just make sure she doesn't complain later."

One day at noon, after get off work, when I returned to the cafeteria, my second cousin told my eldest cousin, "Fenglian, take this bag to your aunt's house and tell her that my grandfather brought it back for me."

Also, you came back with Old Man Song and your brother-in-law this time, so you can't stay at your sister's house tonight. You can stay in my bed.

"Okay," the older sister replied.

"I'll get your food and put it on the kitchen table."

"Okay," the older sister replied as she slung her bag over her shoulder and walked away.

From then on, I lived at my maternal uncle's house and never moved again.

"So you're saying you're doing quite well staying at your uncle's house?" Grandma asked.

"Yes!" My uncle's family has been very kind to me, just like their daughter.

With that, the mother finally felt relieved.